Families

Alice Daniel, LMFT   707-902-3842

     All families may benefit from help at some point. It can be challenging to navigate a relationship with your partner, with your child, and with yourself, simultaneously. Family members often put personal feelings and reactions on the back burner to accommodate others, or may take on certain roles as ways to ask for attention or to maintain the status quo. Remaining comfortable and feeling safe can override the desire for authentic interactions and personal growth.  

     Many times, we don't recognize patterns because we have been taught specific ways of interacting by our parents. Understanding where strengths and struggles come from can be helpful. Often, the families we grew up in set the stage for a familiar way of relating, although those ways may not serve you today. Your partner may have a different "normal" and your child will challenge your perspective. Parents may try to balance out a partner by having opposite reactions, or by giving subtle messages to their partners through talking with their kids because direct communication can feel scary or unfamiliar. Sometimes kids create a demand for family change by acting out when upset, forcing parental problem-solving and closeness. Kids can often be smarter than adults!

     It may be surprising to discover that many families struggle with the same things. Families as organisms tend towards similar problem solving strategies, kind of like how our feelings tend to be universally similar when certain actions or situations occur. Hurt feelings and resentment from current problem-solving strategies are likely a normal reaction to a painful situation. Exploration may be beneficial to the vitality of your family. I invite you to take a risk and explore together!

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